Glen Matlock - Consequences Coming - The Singles, Reviewed

Glen Matlock - Consequences Coming - The Singles, Reviewed

Glen Matlock is arguably one of the most pivotal figures in punk music history. Founding member and bassist of the Sex Pistols, it was Glen’s talent for songwriting that gave the band some of their most formative and best loved tracks like ‘Pretty Vacant’ before leaving in 1977. But unlike other members of the band, aside from reunions, Glen hasn’t really had a permanent fixture: John Lydon has PiL, Paul Cook and Steve Jones had The Professionals and various notable session appearances, but Glen’s been all over the place. He formed Rich Kids, played with The Faces (along with many, many other bands) and most recently toured with Blondie. He has released a solo album before, and with his second solo outing, ‘Consequences Coming’ releasing on April 28th, I’ll be able to get my first taste of the “real” Glen Matlock. Obviously I wasn’t expecting the music to have the same level of furor as it did forty five years ago, but I was sure that the songwriting talent would still shine through. Let’s check out the singles and find out.

Head on a Stick

If I didn’t know better I’d suggest this was some sort of parody, because what we have here is Glen Matlock writing the most stereotypically crap dad rock song ever. I get he was always a bit more musically open-minded than his punk peers, but god this is bad. The most generic, anthemic rock ‘n’ roll guitar riffs, predictably boring “cool” with massive quotation marks guitar solo, basic drum beat and percussion flourishes, and a cheesy electric piano part to boot. I’d almost go as far to say it’s too full on to possibly be parody. I don’t really like to use this term but he checked every box instrumentally on the “bad boomer rock song” checklist. This makes Corey Taylor’s ‘CMFT’ look like black midi’s ‘Hellfire’ in comparison. I haven’t even touched on the vocals, and Jesus Christ where do I start? Not only does he have the most corny gang vocals and “oooh” harmonies on the backing, but Glen’s performance is downright laughable, with the most overly forced, nasal “cool guy” American accent I’ve ever heard since I tried to do one when I was seven years old, to the point that the first time I heard this I just had to sit back in bewilderment. The lyrics are just as silly. Reportedly the album was “all done during the debacle that is Brexit and the rise and fall of the turgid Trump episode in the US”, and according to Glen, “these songs reflect my take on the whole sorry mess that has ensued.” Sounds pretty rebellious to me, but of course, as with many seemingly rebellious lyrical sentiments these days, it’s so bereft of subtlety that it’s ridiculous. Lyrics like “feel like the witness to a crime [...] sure got ourselves a situation, oh how the hell has it all come to this”, along with sentiments like “politicians are so evil it feels like a crime” and “I won’t be posh like you”,along with the chorus reek of the pho-revolutionary attitudes his peers get laughed at for, and so should he. I expected to get a song that showcased Glen’s vast songwriting talent, but what I got is perhaps the worst song I’ve heard so far this year.

Magic Carpet Ride

It’s fair to say I won’t be talking about this for nearly as long, the reason being it suffers from the exact same problems of the last track in only slight variations. Rather than the pho-riotous approach of the opener, this one instead goes for a lolloping country rock vibe, and is equally as annoying. The strung out chords, the generic country riffs, the hand clap rock n roll drum beat, the nothing burger of a guitar solo, it’s all absolutely generic, laidback, retro rock drivel. This sounds like it’s trying to appeal to people the same age as Glen who “want real rock music back” but have no sense of taste. Unsurprisingly, the vocals also haven’t improved at all. Not only is Glen’s terrible, nasal American accent here in full force, but so are the cheesy backing vocals, and let’s just say that the attempt at a more sing-along, anthemic chorus couldn’t be more transparent and irritating. If that wasn’t bad enough, Glen continues to wax lyrical about the dire straits the modern world finds itself in, and, as it did previously, it just sounds silly. Instead of the “down with rich politicians” angle, he instead attempts to illustrate the general sense of confusion people experience in a corrupt, turbulent world, and of course fails spectacularly. Because, inevitably, the terrible delivery along with sentiments of “what’s going on? The world’s gone crazy, it doesn’t make sense”, elicits not so much a sense of relatability, but more so ironic laughter at its hamfistedness. I really didn’t like this, and I don’t think I need to say any more.

Something ‘Bout the Weekend (Ft. HOTEI)

Well by god he’s gone and done it. Four singles in, and he’s finally managed to make an agreeable song. Don’t get me wrong it’s still not great, but It’s quite handily the best of the lot, probably because it’s pretty inoffensive. The rhythm sections are doing nothing new but they’re definitely functional, and the use of organs isn’t nearly as egregious as it has or could have been. The guitars are very straightforward and to be honest the riffs sound straight ripped from Tierra Whack’s ‘Lazy’, but at least they’re somewhat catchy. Saying that, given the influences present in Tierra’s track, as well as the straightforward and kinda dumb lyrics about “I hate the work week, bring on the weekend”, it can sound a little bit like a 'High School Musical' outtake, but I’ll take that over desperate rebelliousness or revolution any day. Perhaps the brightest musical note on this track are the slightly forlorn leads on the bridge, which are perhaps the first genuinely interesting musical idea I’ve heard from the singles. Shame it only lasts fifteen seconds. Vocally, I’ll never be a fan of Glen’s heavy American delivery, but it seems slightly less annoying this time, or maybe I’m just used to it now. As far as the feature from HOTEI goes, he doesn’t really offer much besides some backing vocals and I’m guessing a guitar solo, and given it’s not exactly the most amazing or original solo ever, his inclusion just feels very inconsequential, like it’s there just for the sake of name recognition. He could have at least given him a verse or something. Despite my complaints though, as I say, I think he’s finally managed to pull together a non-annoying, listenable track here. It’s a shame the bar’s that low, but I’ll take what I can get.

This Ship

Well, I can say this for it, it doesn’t quite make me want to bang my head against a wall as much as some of the other tracks, or maybe it does, I can’t really tell. Musically, you can REALLY tell this thing is a closing track, from the soaring guitar leads, grand pianos and bright organ chords, you instantly know it’s going for a big end credits, riding off into the sunset type moment, and it’s very transparent. The same is true of Glen’s vocals, going for the same desperately anthemic “emotional” angle as the instrumentation, which the backing vocals do not help by any means. Oh, and in case you’re wondering, Glen’s vocals are as fake American as ever, so good to see there’s some consistency. As a final note, the lyrical sentiment of “this ship has already sailed” (i.e we’re all in the shit and there’s nothing we can do about it) feels especially lazy, and that’s saying an unbelievable amount. So I don’t really know what you thought I was going to say other than this, but for the sake of clarity, this was still very bad, just maybe microscopically less than others.

So It’s fair to say that in terms of album expectations I’m far from optimistic, as there are already some serious red flags. Three out of the four tracks released have been pretty bad, arguably awful, and one is agreeable at best. Also, none of the thirteen tracks on the album deviate by even fifty seconds of each other in terms of runtime, so if you didn't think they were one-dimensional already, that should be another indicator for you. So yes, I’m very scared about what’s coming. I’d even go as far as to say if this isn’t my worst album of the year I will be absolutely astounded.